What does it mean to be human?

After workouts in the gym, me and some of my teammates usually go to Taramani to get some meat and drink some fruit juice, etc.. A couple of days back we were in Tarams having a glass of juice when we started talking about what each of us wanted to do 10 years down the line. The popular opinion was to open up a business that offers a higher potential for income than conventional jobs. I have been clear about what kind of career I want for atleast 3 years now. The details keep evolving with time, but the basic idea remained the same. But when we were talking about what options we have and how much money we can make through each of those, I started to explore my options. I still knew I would go into a career of research. But this time I really felt the need to justify my decision to go for one thing and not the other. We drank the juice, got chicken fried rice parceled and returned to insti. When I was going back to my room, I started asking a lot of questions but finally landed on one that seemed to be the most important- What is my life all about?

     These kinds of questions have no single answer. We can have groups of people debating forever without ever coming to an agreement. Not surprisingly, these are the kind of questions religions try to answer. A lot of people are satisfied with answers given to them by someone else, I am not. I decided to go atleast as far as I can comprehend. I have found that the best way to propose answers to this kind of questions is by comparing our modern civilization to tribals or animals. A lot of questions, including those about religion and ethics can be investigated by this kind of comparisons (I've been planning to write on these, but never got around to do that). So I started to look for the things that make us different from animals.

    I believe that the most important factors that have shaped human history are the following: comfort, domination and passion.
From living in caves to peacing out in AC rooms, from walking for miles to driving cars, from hunting animals to industrialized farming, it has always been about leading a comfortable life. That's the major reason for doing science and developing new technology.
War- political, religious or otherwise, is always about one group dominating another. Very rarely two countries may go to war because of reasons like scarcity of resources and such, but even in this case, one country wants to live at the expense of the other. The point of most sports or even job positions is the same, showing that you are better than someone else.
Comfort and domination are something that we share in common with even animals. Animals also want to have food without trying too hard, they want to sit in shade, lay down and sleep, etc... A lot of animal groups have alpha and beta males that are the most powerful in the group, they enjoy more privileges than the others. There is another thing that affects our lives- emotions. Everyone wants to be happy. I prefer not to talk about it here.

             But the third factor I mentioned- passion to do things, is one thing that is specific to humans.Animals care first about their survival. Once there is no threat to survival, they seek comfort and/or domination over the others in their group. They just do whatever they feel like without really bothering about anything else. But with us it has been a different story. We have long term goals.We want to do things, not because someone asked us to do it, not because our survival depends on it, not because we expect something out of it, but just because we want to do it. Animals, even the smartest ones like say apes, don't really bother about any long term stuff. They live in the moment, and maybe plan ahead out of caution when there seems to be some threat, but that's all.
             This passion is why the human race is the way it is today. For as long as we have existed, people always sat down and said, "Ok, This thing is interesting. I think I can do something about this. I will spend more time on this and see what I'll get." Sometimes it was to make life comfortable, sometimes it was to win wars, sometimes to impress others, but a lot of times we decided to do things for no reason other than that we wanted to do something. This was how philosophy was born, this was how science was born. Suppose everyone stuck to religion, spirituality, ethics etc and no one bothered to venture on new ideas. Suppose no one ever tried to think beyond the absolute requirements for survival and the rules prescribed by religion. In that case, we would still be living in caves, probably without even inventing fire or weapons.
             Another thing that we do is, we try to define some values and stick to them. Like say, honesty. Or gratitude. Or plain sadism. Why do we have such values? Why do we try to stick to them? The only answer I can find is, because we choose to. Animals don't seem to care much about values. Atleast not on an individual basis. Very often an entire species has a particular trait, such as loyalty for dogs. They are probably just made that way. We, humans, on the other hand are not. We decide what values we want to have in our life.
             So finally, what I realized is, it is our passions and our values that make us different from animals. Do I really want to be different from animals? Or rather, why should I be different from animals? Simply because I can be and I have chosen to. That has always been the most important thing about humans. We choose to do things, we choose to follow some rules. If we, as a species, stop being passionate about our goals or give up all our values and just live like whatever we want to live like, our whole civilization would collapse into anarchy and we'll live like animals (ofcourse, if an individual chooses to have a radical set of ideals, the society, whose most important value is to punish those who fall out of line, would just kill the individual).

              Now my choices are justified. I have some values that restrict what kind of careers I can choose. I have a passion for some particular thing. I can go after only money and try to live comfortably, but then I'd be ditching my passion and my values, which are what make me human. These days there is a lot of stuff going around about careers, what you should do in life and all. I'd never tell anyone what to do and what is right, because the other person has his own set of values and passions and what is important to him may be just a load of crap to me. If you have patiently gone through the whole article, I urge you to take a few more minutes to sit down and list a set of values that you want to live by and make a very small list of things that you are most passionate about. Stick them both on your wall and try to live exactly by the lists for just a couple of days. Most people cannot. But after you try this, you will definitely have a better clarity about what you are and what you want.

Why scientists cannot be atheists

A lot of people nowadays fashion themselves to be atheists. Some even consider themselves to be more intellectual when compared to religious people just because they subscribe to the idea that God does not exist. Before I write further on this, I'd first define some of the words I'm using.

'God' refers only to the way major religions define their omnipotent being, with all the prayers, creations, sins, heaven and hell and all that stuff.

Atheists are people who strongly believe that God does not exist.

Scientists are just any people who practice the scientific method, not necessarily highly qualified researchers.

Think about how religions describe God. He/She has to be trusted, not questioned. He/She cannot be subjected to any proof or scientific analysis. We only have to “believe” that He/She exists. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. There is no guarantee that every person gets to see an act of God (ofcourse, this again depends on what one calls an “act of God”. It could be something as straight-forward as the existence of life, or more specific stuff like miraculous healing and all).

In science, there is one very important test that any theory has to be subjected to- Falsifiability. I picked this up from wikipedia:

"Falsifiability is the ability of a theory—a working framework for explaining and predicting natural phenomena—to be disproved by an experiment or observation.[1] The ability to evaluate theories against observations is essential to the scientific method, and as such, the falsifiability of theories is key to this and is the prime test for whether a proposition or theory can be described as scientific. “

Now, what would the consequence be if a scientist wants to claim that there is no room for the existence of God within the scientific framework (or simply, that God does not exist). It means he/she has conducted a test (either a physical observation or just a thought experiment), by which he/she has found that God does not exist. Also, falsifiability requires that if God exists, His existence must make sure that the above test would fail. But the way that God is defined, He is free to do whatever He wants, whenever He wants. On one day, He may let the test work and on another day He may let it fail. Or He may let the test work forever and still exist, since it is in His power to do whatever He wishes. 

 

My explanation has been sloppy and I would expect the reader to think about this till he/she is convinced (please comment if you find my observation to be wrong, but not if you couldn't understand it). The bottomline is, it is not possible to assert scientifically that God does not exist, just because of the way God is defined. Science cannot comment on the existence of God. So, any person who says he/she is a man of science and does not believe in God, he/she just does not know even the basics of the scientific method. 

 

The closest a scientist can get to an atheist is to being an agnostic- a person who is ready to believe in God if he/she is convinced in some way of that, and till then just doesn't care to think about the question of His existence. However, it is quite easy for a scientist to believe in a supreme being (but not God in the exact way the religions define Him).

Why I am against religion

I’m not an atheist, I’m an agnostic. I do not reject the existence of God, nor do I say there is one. I have never experienced the god that people usually define. If I do, I shall believe. However, I have experienced nature. It has its own behaviour. The purpose of science is to observe nature and put forward hypotheses to explain the behaviour of nature and predict events.

                As far as explaining and predicting nature goes, religion only looks like a mask to people’s ignorance to me. For example, take the rain, sun, wind, sea, etc.. In quite a lot of religions, each of these have a god associated with them. But now we know that each of these natural phenomena can be broken down in terms of atomic behaviour. If religion has to be updated to keep up with what we do know for sure, then all the above gods must be dumped in favour of an “atom god”. Some religions believe in a heaven and hell, spirituality, soul, etc. I prefer not to worry about things I cannot observe, like souls, the other worlds etc. You can tell me that they exist and I’m just ignorant of them, I prefer to keep things simple and believe in what I perceive. After all, I am what I can ‘feel’. Talk about heaven and hell, the belief was that heaven is up in the sky and hell is down in the earth. Now we do know for sure that there’s no “up in the sky”. Sky is but a vast vacuum and the earth is not special celestially. There are the stars and the planets and there doesn’t seem to be any room for heaven “up there”. And “down there”, we know that the earth has a crust, mantle and core, etc.. Then there is the idea that god created human beings and all. Each religion has its own version of the creation and all of them cannot be true. But we all now believe in fossils, dinosaurs, tectonic movements, micro organisms, etc.. none of which had any mention in any religious texts. Without going into too much detail, I’d just say that all the scientific facts we have point against the way in which religions say mankind came into existence (it could still be that some super power ,  a.k.a nature, “created” mankind).

                So, I just mentioned some reasons that point against religion. Now we’ll look at the one thing that tells me why I should believe in some religion. The first and most important thing- I’ll be rewarded (most probably in an after-life) if I follow what the religion says, or be punished if I don’t. It’s not very hard to see that for a society to survive, there must be some ground-rules. I find it very easy to believe that what religions preach are just some rules that make sure that people work together to make the concept of society work. This appeals more to me- you want the comfort of living in a society, live by the rules. And what better way to tell this to people than to tell them about rewards and punishments?

                Most people believe in religion because their elders told them about religion and that is the way it is. They are told that they must not question religion or god. I prefer to question a lot of things. I believe in something only if I find the argument convincing. Religion does not offer an argument at all and expects people to take it by faith. This is totally against the scientific way. And I guess I must remind everyone that it is because of the scientific way that we now have computers, satellites, internet, televisions, etc. We have them now because someone questioned things, someone did science. If someone wants to be religious, maybe they should give up everything science has offered through the endless work of all the great people who took the effort to question things rather than just take them on faith.

To summarize

1.       Religion must be viewed as a set of moral rules that help people live peacefully in a society.

2.       Religious notions have been advanced when science could not explain something. As our scientific knowledge expands, our understanding of things gets better and better and the domain of religion/god would be further reduced.

3.       Remember that computers and cell phones could not have been invented if everyone just prayed and worshipped. Someone had to do science.

4.       Thanks to the freedom taken by all the religious writers in glorifying the role of god, a wealth of knowledge from our ancestors has been lost when legends, myths and scriptures were passed over generations.

               

My inter IIT Journey - Part 4 (2011)

 2011 proved to be a bigger challenge than 2010. We had won the title, now we had to keep it. We were faced with 3 major problems: 1. Moot dropped out of the institute and joined a sports science course in DU. Bala passed out of the insti. ISI had to do a 6 month intern. The 3 of them were worth 9 points (3 silvers). Lalu wanted to focus on acads and placements the following year and so he left the team. I became the new captain. The first task was to find replacements for Moot, Bala and Lalu. The replacements were not expected to perform on par with the seniors and the rest of us had to make up for the lost points. And I had moved into the next weight category- from under 62kg class to under 69kg class. And so I had to fight even harder to get a gold in the heavier class.

Practice in the even sem wasn't very good. It was in the odd sem that we upped the ante. Moot was very seriously missed. It wasn't just the points, but his general attitude towards the sport, the level of psyche he brings into his lifts. Dropping out of IITM to take Sports Science in DU says something about the guy. Without Moot and ISI, my enthu also went down slightly. And then there were 4 new guys in the team- Manoj, Prudhvi, Devendra and Vinayak. Venu, Riyaz and Sai Chand had to be left out of the team.

We introduced Weightlifting in Sportsfest, and we managed to win the Gold. I actually gave one of my worst performance, second only to my performance in inter IIT 2009, but luckily there were no other good lifters in my category and I won Gold. Then, we also participated in Chennai District competition, where our team came second in the amateurs class. I got a silver there. Since Moot left, me, ISI and Vikrant were the guys competing against each other now. Then came Schroeter. It wasn't as good as it was in 2010 since we had already reached a good level and our lifts started to saturate. In trying to break my personal record, I lost the “Best Lifter” title I held in 2009, 2010 to Balaji. The new guys were promising, but they were not ready yet to make their mark in inter IIT.

Main camp came, and this time it was Asif's turn to get injured during Main Camp. Other than that, our practice was going good. We stopped playing cricket in the mornings. When Moot, ISI and Vikrant were in the team, we had a great time, lots of fun. With ISI busy with placements, Moot not in insti and Vikrant busy with his end sems (IIIT had end sems during our main camp), the general attitude of the team towards inter IIT became more serious, more desperate and less psyched. The time came to leave for IIT Kharagpur. In train, I didn't have as much fun as I had the previous 2 years, but it was still very good. Kharagpur was a proper village and that became very clear when we went in the bus from the railway station to IIT Kgp. I guess I saw some 5-6 hospitals in the route, and very few general stores or such other shops.

This inter IIT was more about living up to the reputation (I held all 3 records- Snatch, Clean n Jerk and total life, in the under 62kg class), retaining the gold and guiding the juniors in the team. I was the captain and I'm a 4^th year guy. This time too, there was one major problem. ISI was busy with his placements. He said he would come in time for the competition. He very well might have ended up having an interview on that day. We just hoped that he'd come on time.

The first few days were not that exciting. We didn't want to do anything crazy till our competition ended. We rarely went for cheering. We spent most of our time watching other teams practice, looking out for the best lifters of each team. I don't know how friendly the teams in other sports are, but in Weightlifting, all members of all IITs are good friends. Especially IITM and IITB teams have a good relationship- we meet the team and talk to their coach, we peace out, we encourage each other and we cheer when someone's lifting. No team puts RG to the lifters of other teams. Everyone encourages everyone else when they're attempting heavy weights. And at the end of the day, we're all like “abe yaar, bahut improve karliya tu ne bhi.. congrats dude, see you next year... is baar to theek hai, lekin next time to bahut fight hoga is medal ke liye..”

Our competition started, in the best way it possibly could. Balaji put Gold in under 56kg. It came till the last call and he managed to complete the lift. And then in under 62kg, Dilli came 4^th. The guy who came 2^nd in under 62kg was after my records. He broke the record I set in snatch- mine was 73 and he did 75kg. And when he did that, the referees called me on to the stage and made me congratulate him- probably the first time something like that happened in inter IIT, and it felt good and bad at the same time. Good since it was acknowledged officially that I held a record, and bad because it was broken just the next year. He couldn't break my other 2 records though. That was day 1 of Weightlifting. ISI was still in insti when Balaji got Gold. He got placed that afternoon. He took the next flight to Kolkata, got on a train to Kharagpur and by the time he reached our hostel, it was about 4 AM. He didn't get any sleep and the competition started at 12 noon.

On day 2, it was under 69kg first. There was something interesting about that category- captains of IITB, IITK, IITH, IITG, IITKgp, IITD, and of course myself, were all in that category. And the competition started- my best competition ever. For he first time, I had to put fight for the medal, and I won it. I had to fight for it in inter IIT 2009, but I screwed up. I was 1kg down in snatch, but it didn't matter, I knew I was too good in Clean & Jerk. I just waited for the rest of the lifters to finish their calls. I had to do 98kg for Gold. I did it. I had a slight back pain I had gotten during warm up and I was a little hesitant in attempting 106kg (which would be a new inter IIT record), I wanted to go for 100kg and be done with it. Then it flashed across my mind that I already won Gold and even failing in that lift or a minor injury would mean nothing, I had lots of time to recover, and I went for it. Ofcourse, there was encouragement from everyone, my team obviously, IITB team, and also all other competitors from other teams. And I broke the new record, created a new one.

In under 77kg, ISI did the best he could. He could only manage a bronze. Considering he didn't practice at all and he was totally exhausted, it was a commendable feat. On the 3^rd day, it was above 77kg. It finally came down to this- both Manoj and Asif had 2 calls left for each of them. If one of them lifts one call, the team gets gold, or we'd be tied with Bombay. In the first attempt, Manoj lifted 87kg, and we got our gold and that's how our story ended. I was also the 'Best Lifter' of the competition. From 2008 to 2011, I came from being a new kid in the team to the captain of the Gold winning team in inter IIT.

When our competition was over, we had realized that Kharagpur was a totally free place, you could smoke right on the roads inside the campus. You could booze too. There were a couple of bars right outside their main gate. I'd just say I made good use of the freedom they offered- after all, I deserved it. And what better time to enjoy the freedom than when celebrating with the team and friends?

The night after the competition, we decided to check out the prison cells and the building beside it, that was supposed to be haunted. We visited that place 3 times and had a lot of fun. It would take too much space to describe it here. The rest of inter IIT was spent a little passively. Winning Gold was not very ecstatic, it was only relieving, like a job well done. Everyone gave their best, it was like a perfectly executed plan. They had very good rasgullas and gulab jamuns for only 4 bucks each in a store which was near their version of GC. We spent our time eating, enjoying, and watching other matches. The hockey team- Milli joule, Ganpathy, Bala and others, joined us in the peacing out and enjoying the freedom part. Especially, ISI and Meena were always in “high spirits”, being placed, final inter IIT and all. And there were some junta from the Athletics team too- Suspi, Kass, Praveen,etc who would often join us.

We won Gold in TT. I couldn't see the match, but I heard that the TT finals was one of the best ever played in inter IIT, Gopal, IITM's captain beating Delhi's best player (I think). Like our team bounced back in 2010, Baski team thulped in 2011. The Basketball final was a treat to watch, our players totally dominating the opposition (and we also had a lot of fun cheering). Unfortunately, the footer team lost to IITK when the Kanpur team played 2 illegal players who were just too good for any inter IIT team (IITD won gold and our team actually beat IITD in the leagues). Volley had a bad run, losing to IITKgp in semis, but they managed to put bronze. In Hockey it went to penalties again. I think Ganapathy finished it, with his funny but extremely effective shoot (or whatever they call it). And then on the last day there was Athletics.

Teacher (Siva Teja) told us that we had to put Gold in 4x100 relay for us to win GC. Me, Asif and Milli Joule (Amit Mastud) were sitting there. We didn't win. We lost GC. We started walking out of the stadium, trying to get out as fast as we can so that we don't have to come across IITB junta shouting and taunting. We were almost near the stadium exit when we saw that our insti junta were celebrating. Confused, we ran back, and we heard “Who won the GC? Madras! Madras!”. It was a great feeling to know that it was actually us who won the GC. Teacher had actually bulbed in counting the points of IITB. In the end, we won GC by 0.5 points. And that half point was because of March Past. This time again, when the GC was given, the contingent ran with the trophy on the athletics track. But I didn't, it wasn't the same feeling as we had in 2010. This time it was not excitement, but a silent pride and relief.

And then there is one more thing I realized in inter IIT 2011. Students from all IITs fight it out, literally, on the field. We taunt and abuse. But when its all over, no one cares about all the rivalries. When inter IIT was about to end, every guy from every IIT we met on the street was very friendly, everyone has the same feeling. We're rivals only on the field, but off it, we are not. The sports sec of IITB said that he did some crazy shit during the matches but that was all in the heat of the moment and we all shook hands and left. Then we met some Roorkee guys and we talked like we were old friends meeting after a lot of years.

I guess the insti Weightlifting team is the biggest part of my insti life and it has made me what I am now. I must thank the hockey team, Saurabhnath, Suspi, Kass, Praveen and especially Meena and Millijoule for making inter IIT 2011 as memorable as it is. I'm really happy that the fifth estate gave me the chance to let me describe my experience. Inter IIT truly is the best part of my insti life.

And this for the inter IIT contingent:

~~~ Ale maangdo... ha, hey hey … hi hi, hi hi.. ha hey hey, he he he... ~~~~

My inter IIT Journey - Part 3 (2010)

Then came 2010. We didn't practice much in the even sem or the summer. The odd sem started and we were now like soldiers preparing for battle. The team remained the same. ISI was the new captain and he led by example. Our coach was putting full enthu too. There was a new addition to the team- Vikrant Singh Poonia. He is a student in IIIT D&M, so he couldn't compete in inter IIT. But he was always with the team and his addition added to the fun we had. We took a print out of the results of inter IIT 2009 and stuck it to the wall in our Weightlifting hall, so we know where we should be at the end of the sem. And we reached there far before that.

Schroeter 2010 was fantastic. Me, Bala, Moot and ISI either beat or equaled previous inter IIT records. I did 73kg Snatch and 91kg Clean and Jerk (inter IIT records in my weight class were 71kg and 87kg respectively). It was like the golden age for the team. It wasn't just the lifts, but the way we stuck together as a team. I can possibly not describe how much the team means to each of us. And as we neared the end sems and started the main camp, our lifts only got better. Our maxes improved. Mine went from 73kg, 91kg to 75kg, 95kg. And then the other things about the main camp- like the food (and the girls' teams dining in the same mess), the joblessness, everything was too good. We would play cricket in the morning and when the coach asked why we looked tired, we would lie. We would cook chicken in Asif's room. We'd play cards and watch movies together- Garam Masala and American Pie (till the 5^th one) were the favorites.

The time came to leave for IIT Delhi. Again, loads of fun in the train. We were given rooms in their hostel named “Zanskaar”. My best memory is of the time we would sit in front of the fire that was lit in front of their version of Guru, which was right behind our hostel, drinking mosambi juice. Even thinking of all that brings back fond memories- you have to be a member of the inter IIT contingent to know what inter IIT means. Vikrant also accompanied the team- he lived in Delhi, so he came to IIT Delhi every morning. We made him come to our practice and also to the competition and we made him lift backstage, where we warmed up. He is a really strong lifter, and we told the other teams that he was a freshie and he wasn't in the team because we had problems with contingent size- all other teams would get psyched looking at his strength.

For me, the theme for this inter IIT was about going there and showing the others how good we were. We knew we were good enough and we were hungry after our disappointing performance in the previous inter IIT. The first thing in inter IIT was March Past. Some members of the contingent were apparently passed out and some were too lazy to turn up, and we had lost some points for attendance in March Past (and all of us who attended were extremely pissed about that). The events started. We weren't doing very good. Actually, we were losing. . We, as usual, were jobless enough to be watching the matches of our other teams and cheering them. Basketball was our favorite.

We had 2 serious problems- Bala did not leave to Delhi along with the contingent as he was sitting for placements. He hadn't practice much during Main Camp either. And Moot had a minor back injury in the first few days of Main camp, and he spent the rest of the camp doing only light weights to allow for recuperation. Our chances of winning were still not 100%. But we were all very focused, ready to push our limits to get that gold. We had to make some small sacrifices- 1 or 2 days before our competition, there was a dinner and a DJ. We couldn't thulp at dinner as we had to keep our body weights in our respective weight classes. We didn't want to dance for too long since we didn't want to take the risk of getting even a small cramp. Then there was this thing about Moot- he was so psyched up and restless that he got a fever. Among some of the crazy stuff he used to do was eating a lot of coffee powder (just coffee powder, no milk or sugar) on the day of the competition to stay awake. And he would also ask us to pull his hair and slap him before he would go for his lift, just to stay awake and psyched up (we often have to give the same treatment to Balaji and ISI). Bala had arrived in a flight just the night before the competition, at around 11 PM.

The competition started. In under 56kg, Bala thulped in snatch, and he attempted the highest in Clean and Jerk ever attempted in his weight class. He took silver and thus it started. In under 62kg, it was a piece of cake for me. My lifts were 73kg snatch, 97kg clean & jerk- both new inter-IIT records. Balaji and Dilli contributed 1 point each. We were on top with 10 points on the first day. That night, Deba, the then Volley captain, came to my room and asked me to write down what I felt like when I won my first inter IIT Gold. He said that on that night I would feel very different from the other nights. And I did write. I'd quote a little from what I wrote-

“The feeling after getting that gold was not happiness or excitement, but just a sense of relief, for I had not fought hard for that medal, I was not struggling with the weight. I had to lift less than what I could. It was nothing like in the Olympics, lifters struggling with the weight, shouting their lungs out, giving it all they got. It was just about staying focused and thinking about my lift. In the end, it was about keeping my mindset in those 30 seconds of each lift. “

“We, Weightlifters, probably have inspired all the other teams from our institute, we have inspired them with our performances- Me, Dilli, Bala and Balaji. As ISI said before I went for the 97kg Clean and Jerk, I showed them what Weightlifting is like. I am satisfied, if not happy. I’m relieved, if not excited.”

Then, on day 2 of Weightlifting, Moot gave his worst performance ever in the under 69kg class and he bagged silver. In under 77kg, ISI got a little unfortunate in his 3^rd call in Snatch- his foot slipped and he fell down when trying 88kg (he could do 90kg). The other guy in his category is an extremely good lifter and he managed to beat ISI with 1kg to win gold. Asif did his best, but couldn't get any medal, and Lalu got injured during the competition and had to forfeit his calls. And so the result- IITM won Gold, with 16 points. That moment was ecstatic. Coming from 0 points in 2009 to Gold in 2010 was an awesome feeling. The feeling I felt when the team won the Gold was much more euphoric than what I got from my personal medal. The Gold was actually confirmed the moment ISI got his silver. And right after his lifts, we all lifted him up in the air, we were dancing and shouting. Words can't describe that feeling.

Some guys from hockey, volley and footer teams came to watch our competition. I do not know if our performances in particular had an effect on them, but after our competition, our other teams started winning. The first few days were really bad for us, but towards the end we started doing better. On the last day, we were in finals in hockey, TT and Volley.

Ila was totally dominating the field- the opposite team actually tried to make a foul everytime Ila got the ball, that's how good he was. The game finally went down to penalties. Our sports sec at that time, Hic, was the goalie. He did an awesome job saving some of the penalty strokes. I don't exactly remember who scored for us, I guess the hockey team can fill in on this. Finally, we won the match, and you know what happens later. After a few minutes wildly running in the field and shouting “Madras Madras”, we rushed to the Volley court.

Volley finals was an extremely close match. It went down till the last set, I guess we were down 1-2 after 3^rd set. I'm not so good a writer to describe this stuff. The result was, we finally won. And as we were leaving the Volley court, someone got a call saying that we won in TT too... Imagine that- starting off poorly in inter IIT, then I put records, our team dominates in Weightlifting and wins gold, 3 teams in finals in the last day, we go to cheer 2 of them and both of them win and then there's a call saying we won in the third too. That was one hell of a day and there were celebrations everywhere. IIT Madras, which totally f***ed up in 2009, falling from 2^nd in 2007 and 2008, retaliates to win the GC. And remember we lost in March Past? So, during the closing ceremony, the moment the GC trophy was awarded to Hic (the sports sec), we all run to him and then we start marching in the stadium- at around 6 30 PM, we marched in the stadium, the whole of IIT Madras contingent. We were called back by the organizers before we were done with the marching, but we still went marching and running and shouting, before the ceremony was over.

My inter IIT journey - Part 2 (2009)

5 out of the 9 guys in the team, including Jumper and Koted, passed out that year. We were left with me, Balaji, Moot, ISI (Rajesh Reddy) and Dilli (Ravikant Karan). Dilli was our captain. Like me, 2008 was his first inter IIT too. Bala (Jagadeshwar rao), Asif and Lalu (Vinay Paliwal) were new additions to the team. Dilli was extremely optimistic and he made us believe that we actually had a shot at getting the Weightlifting gold in inter IIT that year. Me, Moot and ISI were pretty much at the same level, our maximum lifts differed by only some 3-5kg. But being in a lower weight class, I had a better chance for a medal in inter IIT and Moot (in under 69kg) and ISI (in under 77kg) were a long way from getting a medal.

The odd sem in 2009 was an awesome time for us. That was when our team was built, with five 2^nd years, two 3^rd years and a 5^th year guy. We were always in high spirits. We trained hard, we had lots of fun and we would always stick together. One thing was really good about our team in both 2009, 2010- Me, Moot and ISI competed against each other all the time. I was very strong in Clean & Jerk and both of them tried to beat me in that and I tried to equal them in Snatch. It kept increasing the level of fight we put. Schroeter happened, our lifts were good. I put gold in Schroeter and was also the Best Lifter. It was all going great. All during Main Camp and till our competition started, I was very confident that I would put gold in inter IIT.

We left for IIT Kanpur some 4 days before inter IIT started. The train trip, my first with friends, was great. IITK is too good, the rooms are bigger than ours, they're hostels are really good, the mess food was of better quality, each hostel had its own canteen and a nice lawn in front of it, the sports fields were all new and way better than ours. All of us, except ISI and Dilli, got single rooms. So, everytime we had to meet or party, we'd sit in the double room. Or we'd go to Asif's room and watch a movie he downloaded from youtube, or just play cards. This inter IIT, my 2^nd one, was all about having fun and being with the team. It was more like we were on some kind of fun trip than in a sports meet.

If I must use one word to describe our team in 2009, it would be “naive”. We had really good lifters, members of all IIT Weightlifting teams know that now. The potential was there,, but we failed to gauge the level of the competition before it started. Even today I keep blaming myself for screwing up in that competition the way I did. I had a sure chance of getting gold and still I messed up, missing 68kg snatch twice when I could do 72kg. I had to be content with 4^th place, lifting only 2kg less than bronze and 7kg less than gold. The others, especially Balaji, Moot and ISI, gave their best, but were not up to the mark. Ultimately, nobody in the entire team got even a single point. We were expecting to win gold in Weightlifting. We lost. We realized that we were inexperienced and we needed more time and effort. We knew we had a long way to go, but we had our experience and we weren't going to screw up again.

Just like in Main Camp, even during inter IIT, our team is famous for being totally jobless. We have our competition on 3 days out of the 7-8 days of inter IIT. The rest of the time, we'd just go around watching other sports and cheering our teams. And then there was the partying that you shouldn't write about on the insti magazines. Before we left for inter IIT, we told the sports sec that we were going to win gold in Weightlifting. We cupped. But then, every other team (except TT, Volley) lost. Inter-IIT 2009 was a complete disaster for IITM. We were placed 5^th. Our team was relieved – atleast we weren't the only guys who cupped. And so, the lesson was learnt and the chapter was closed.

My inter IIT journey - Part 1 (2008)

It all started on my 2^nd day in insti, when I was “interacting” with some seniors in Tambi. I told them I was interested in bodybuilding. As part of the “interaction”, they asked me take my shirt off and pose like a bodybuilder. Then there was the usual stuff like dancing and all, but in the end they told me there was this thing called Weightlifting in insti and that I should try to get into that NSO. And so I told our sports sec that I wanted to get into Weightlifting NSO. He introduced me to one guy in the hostel and this guy asked me to turn up in the gym the next day. The following day, I was very lucky to be introduced to the then insti captain Jumper (Ashith Paulson). There were “Workout 101” sessions for me for a while and then some proper Weightlifting fundaes. I put a lot of enthu and eventually I was selected for NSO Weightlifting.

I attended every insti practice session right from my first sem. In the beginning, I was also attending the 'hapkido' classes, but Jumper asked me to pack that and do only Weightlifting. I packed hapkido and spent almost all my evenings either in insti Weightlifting practice or working out in gym (including quiz weeks). Sandeep Gautam (Moot) and Balaji were also selected in NSO. We got a lot of encouragement from our seniors in my first year- especially from Jumper, Koted (Om Prakash Meena), Madhu and Rohit. I put gold in my first Schroeter, beating the closest competitor, a 3^rd year guy, by 15kg. From that point, there was no turning back. And by “no turning back”, I mean this: Golds in Weightlifting Schroeter 09, 10, 11. 'Best Lifter' in Weightlifting Schroeter 09, 10. Golds in Powerlifting 09, 10, 11. 'Strong Man' in Powerlifting 10, 11, 12. Golds in Weightlifting in Inter-IIT 10, 11. 'Best Lifter' in Inter IIT 2011. And to add to all that, Gold to the team in inter-IIT 2011 when I was the captain.

What began like “I'm good at this, I'll do this” turned into love for the sport, a sort of addiction. In my first sem, every small improvement in my lifts would make me very happy and every time I screwed up a lift I'd get very frustrated. Whatever effect this had on my acads, I did well in my first sem (and pretty much every sem since). Till now, Weightlifting serves me as a great equalizer. Even if I had a totally crappy day, I'd go to the gym and start lifting. While working out, I'd have to focus so much that I'd totally forget about all the painful stuff and in the end I'd be too exhausted to be sad or frustrated about anything. Some go to a temple, some peace out with friends, I hit the gym. Every day was a new challenge, a new adventure. I don't have to go trekking or sky-diving, my challenge is right there in the gym, in attempting to lift a weight I might not be able to lift, in fighting it out. My circle of friends changed. My basic values in life changed too, but I prefer not to write about it here. Sometime in first sem, I stopped eating rice totally and ate only rotis. Playing other sports got packed. People started identifying me as a Weightlifter.

Inter IIT 2008 was hosted by IITM. Each inter IIT had a different characteristic theme for me. 2008 was when I was a beginner, a little kid in the team among all the big guys. I was no way near the inter IIT standards at that time and consequently there were no expectations on me at all.

Right from the day after end sems till inter IIT starts, we have what is called the “Main Camp”. All we do is eat and practice. Other sports have practice through out the day. That is pretty much impossible for amateur Weightlifters with the crappy diet that we are on. We practiced only on alternate mornings and all evenings, for about 2 hours per session. The rest of the time we'd be totally jobless. The best part of Main Camp, other then the joblessness, 'was' the Inter-IIT mess food, which is really good . Moot wasn't in the insti team since he had to attend his grandfather's funeral. I decided not to control my diet and went up to the next weight category, to under 62kg from under 56kg (In retrospect, I think that was a bad decision- I had a good chance of getting a bronze in under 56kg class ). I guess I came 8^th in 10 competitors in the under 62kg class. Then there were Jumper and Koted who put Gold and Silver in their categories and the team won Silver (thanks to Bombay for thulping in all other categories and denying medals to our other competitors). Though there was little I contributed to the team in that inter IIT, the performances by my seniors inspired me. I knew I wanted to put gold the next year. And I also knew that all of my seniors, especially Jumper, were expecting me to, quoting Jumper, “break inter IIT records”.

Don't blame the admin

Who is to be blamed for all these new rules and restrictions on hostel nights and the other stuff? The administration? I don't think so. There was another suicide recently and though I don't know any details about that, I believe that the admin is going to be questioned. Whenever a student commits suicide or gets addicted to something or does something crazy, the admin is held responsible for that. We may not think so, but the parents and the media do. When someone goes to the dean and asks him, “there are a lot of students committing suicide, what are you doing about that?”, he can't just say, “well, they are adults and we treat them like that. They have the freedom to make their choices and they can kill themselves if they want to. I don't want to do anything about it.” And also, the admin also has to be accountable for the general quality of acads in the insti. 

“the admin of the insti is responsible for _____” actually translates to “the admin must take necessary measures to make sure that ____ is corrected”. If we hold the admin responsible for this stuff, then we're also giving them the right to take whatever action they have to. Obviously, you can't hold someone responsible for something if they don't have control over it. The hostel night tradition has been there for a long time. Just a few years back, there was a lot of freedom too. Ragging wasn't so serious an issue. What happened suddenly to all that? Why did the admin have to screw us up so bad? There may be some profs who are too conservative and who always want to pain students, but we know its not that just a few profs have made all this happen. Its a shift in the insti policy. Someone has to be responsible for that, and who is if it's not the admin?

My opinion, its all those dumba**es who can't take care of themselves. Some guy boozes and fags and pains everyone around him. Some guy screws his acads up. Some guys are just putting weed all day. Some girl goes on some kinda adventure and gets raped. Some student kills himself. A lot of us are sensible enough to know what is ok to be done and what is not. We say we want the freedom to do whatever we want, we are all adults and we should be treated like that. The admin would grant us this freedom, we all know that it was there till a few years back. And then these d***heads who don't know s**t about anything would screw up. That's, it. Some dumb kid screws it up for all of us. The only reason that the admin holds responsible for it: the freedom we have, to do what we want to do. And they do the obvious thing to do- take the freedom away.

The attendance rule was enforced because junta wouldn't turn up for classes. LAN cut is implemented because junta just keep playing games all night and bunk classes and the quality of acads seems to be affected by that. You may have the freedom to play games all night, but if you don't attend classes and screw up acads, the admin is held responsible for that. And thanks to these guys, I now have to attend classes I don't feel like attending and there's no internet when I need to look up about something.

Obviously, there is very little, if not totally zero, boozing and fagging and f**king happening this time during hostel nights. So the admin's plan did work. They have managed to stop these dumb kids from going crazy. The cost of controlling these dumb kids is that the rest of us who know how to control ourselves lost all our freedom. Whenever some crazy policy that takes away our freedom comes into force, remember that it is not the admin that is to be blamed. Blame all the dumb kids around you who can't take care of themselves.